Archive for the ‘blah’ Category

Ctrl + Alt + Del

Posted: December 17, 2010 in blah, random

So I have decided that I am putting this shit to an end. Feelings I mean. The ones that I adored at one point of time.

And so I have decided to go numb. Once again.

And offcourse, I go under hibernation.

I was walking towards my office this morning when, hell late. Well, that’s a usual. There is this ground that I pass that is usually full of garbage or muddy water or some jocks trying to be cool. I usually ignore the site cuz I am always so goddamn late.
And so I intended today. But well, when I got near the ground I heard these PT drums beating and god it reminded me of school. These little girls were bored as hell trying exercise on the beats. And it reminded me of school so bad it wasn’t even funny. I was in my school marching team for 4 years and we had some 5 events every year that fired off with marching bands. We used to practice some 3 hours every day, come rain or shine. Boy, I used to hate it. I particularly remember this time when I was about to faint and this goddamn teacher thought I was faking it. That killed me. It really did. I was ready to slap him. Only, I didn’t. I’m a chicken when it comes to going against teachers. Don’t know why. Anyways, I hated being in the marching team. It’s so useless. And I particularly hated being the flag bearer. I mean it’s not enough to just march on the crumby beats, you for Christ sake had to lead the team.
The entire school hated the marching team. They never saw the point of it. Neither did I. We were always making a fool of ourselves. Bumping into each other all the time. But no matter how much I hated it, when the team opened the goddamn sports day or any damn event, it was swell. Especially when you lead the team to the senior cabin and dip the school flag, the entire staff – including the phony principal and directors, salute you with this ultra proud face. It’s grand, believe me. It really is.
So the entire way to the office I was remembering how grand it all was. I damn near had tears in my eyes. I know it sounds stupid. But I did. Nostalgia can ruin you. Like it ruined my morning.


If you guys are wondering why the fuck do I sound the way I am sounding, well, sorry to knock off your socks! I am reading ‘The Catcher in the Rye’ by J.D Salinger these days (I know I am a little late in my age to read the book but then it’s all good 😛 ) and its playing nasty games with my head. It really is. I didn’t admit it until this morning when I was actually thinking just like the narrative in the book. Its soo freaky! It had (I swear to god) never happened to me before!
I am still a little disturbed. And I have my goddanm reasons.

Like all good things.

Posted: November 1, 2010 in blah, rant

So as it turns out, this too came to an end.
And I really feel like a psychotic fuck.
The mad women in love turned out to be mad women alright. But the love part *ahem*
Should I feel angry? or sad? or mad? or frustrated? or heart broken? or lonely? or depressed? or free? or liberated? or hate? or love?
The funny part is, I feel it all. HAHA. The joke is on me.
Fuck you bastard. You are gonna be alright. Well, din’t you see it coming? haha. Fool. …and so my mind trips on me, calling me names, embracing me, scolding me. Its like my mind is another person.
Well yes, now you know i really am psychotic.

Did you see it coming?


Posted: July 29, 2010 in blah, love, madness, Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

My hands smell of you. Isn’t that odd?!

Thanks for yesterday by the way, I really needed the madness. It was fun. Like it’s always been.

I miss the dog! Such big brown eyes! Aww…such a darling. I cant wait for the day I pet a dog or a cat. But you already knew that.


I am still in awe. Your words still ring on my ears…
“Isn’t it awesome that we have been together one and a half-year and still we have SOO much fun all the time?!”

I love you!

Rob: yes?
me: i still havent found what i am looking for
Rob: what u lookin for ,girl?
me: a beautiful day
Rob: ohhh…
create it
me: where the streets have no name
Rob: name them
pyaar ki gaali
dildaar sadak
me: with or without you?
Rob: the road that has no name whose name is “the road that has no name, no shitting, thats the name of this road!”
me: with or without you?
Rob: with me and without me….or semi with me or semi without me or saying chuck it, am going alone
me: sometimes you cant make it alone
Rob: thats true….u cant sit in a rickshaw without a puller and say “chalo bhaiyaa” and expect it to move by itself
me: all i want is you
Rob: really….no food, no life, no trips for shopping, no movies, no pats on the back. no 10 million dollars, nothing?
me: all because of you
Rob: hain?
me: elevation
Rob: masturbation?
me: ■Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me
Rob: held, thrilled, kissed, bloody murdered.
me: god will send his angels


Posted: February 13, 2010 in blah, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

finally i decide to make a personal blog! and what a day to start! feb 14th!

shall post soon…right now too sleepy!