Archive for the ‘madness’ Category

Cocktail Karma

Posted: May 18, 2012 in feelings, friends, love, madness
Tags:

It was Ladies Night at her favorite club. And how she loved free drinks. She fought to get everything out of her plate so that she could head there early. Of course, she didn’t care about how she looked. She never did. Her mantra: if you are comfortable, you WILL look good. She lived by it, every single day.

It was almost 8.30 when she rushed out of the office. Hmm, 2 hours to get hammered. So she intended, come what may. Also, it was her first time drinking alone. A little jittery but excited nonetheless. Who needs company when alcohol is by your side. Also, she was looking forward to leching at all the cute boys, open to the idea of getting it on.

It’s right about when the buzz started to kick in and the music got louder. She was in her happy place. She made friends. The only-for-the-night kinds. And there he was. Smiling. Dancing. Drinking. She thought it was innocent. It all starts like this.

She woke up next morning with a throbbing headache. All she remembered of that night was that the drinks never ended. Was she with someone? No, she went there alone. How did she get home? Wait, wasn’t she dancing with a cute boy?

And then she noticed. A needle mark on her arm.

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Posted: June 10, 2011 in feelings, madness, random, rant

Its a little scary how I just cant get myself to write anymore. No thought stays in my mind for me to actually put it in words. And that scares me. A little more than I’d like to admit.

Let me rephrase,
It all seems a haze
Faces, places and big spiral mazes
florescent, incandescent – a mighty blaze

Things that hold no meaning
are clutched close to heart
And the ones that did matter
lay crinkled, drenched and homeless.

Pieces of this puzzle
gather dust
While a loud, obnoxious song
blasts in the background.

You and I were holding hands. As pleasant as life could be. Burst of colours and sounds. Sweet smell filled the air with a certain cheer. And you looked at me and smiled.

A small boy came tagging along. With a small paper bird in his hand. Green and red. Just five rupees didi. Innocence in its purest form. I held my hand out with a shiny coin on my palm. His eyes lit up. The bird was mine and the joy his. And then he ran to his mom standing at the other end of what seemed a euphoric world.

Bangles. Linen. Sizzle of a chaat shop. But you stop for a cutting, and buy me one. I smile at you. And you touch my cheek. I try to hide my blush behind my chaai. But you know it too well.

You take my hand again and began the mad walk. A chaotic, busy rush like a trail of a child’s mind. Cryptic and twisted. Full of sights and pleasures and faces. But I just follow yours.

Someone taps on my shoulder then. And I look around. And find no one. A frown crosses my face. And I search though the sea of faces to find the one who needed me. But in vain.

And then I turn around. And you were gone.

Dear Love,

Posted: December 13, 2010 in love, madness

And I’d give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t want to go home right now

Love,

Love!

I was walking towards my office this morning when, hell late. Well, that’s a usual. There is this ground that I pass that is usually full of garbage or muddy water or some jocks trying to be cool. I usually ignore the site cuz I am always so goddamn late.
And so I intended today. But well, when I got near the ground I heard these PT drums beating and god it reminded me of school. These little girls were bored as hell trying exercise on the beats. And it reminded me of school so bad it wasn’t even funny. I was in my school marching team for 4 years and we had some 5 events every year that fired off with marching bands. We used to practice some 3 hours every day, come rain or shine. Boy, I used to hate it. I particularly remember this time when I was about to faint and this goddamn teacher thought I was faking it. That killed me. It really did. I was ready to slap him. Only, I didn’t. I’m a chicken when it comes to going against teachers. Don’t know why. Anyways, I hated being in the marching team. It’s so useless. And I particularly hated being the flag bearer. I mean it’s not enough to just march on the crumby beats, you for Christ sake had to lead the team.
The entire school hated the marching team. They never saw the point of it. Neither did I. We were always making a fool of ourselves. Bumping into each other all the time. But no matter how much I hated it, when the team opened the goddamn sports day or any damn event, it was swell. Especially when you lead the team to the senior cabin and dip the school flag, the entire staff – including the phony principal and directors, salute you with this ultra proud face. It’s grand, believe me. It really is.
So the entire way to the office I was remembering how grand it all was. I damn near had tears in my eyes. I know it sounds stupid. But I did. Nostalgia can ruin you. Like it ruined my morning.

_____________________________________________

If you guys are wondering why the fuck do I sound the way I am sounding, well, sorry to knock off your socks! I am reading ‘The Catcher in the Rye’ by J.D Salinger these days (I know I am a little late in my age to read the book but then it’s all good 😛 ) and its playing nasty games with my head. It really is. I didn’t admit it until this morning when I was actually thinking just like the narrative in the book. Its soo freaky! It had (I swear to god) never happened to me before!
I am still a little disturbed. And I have my goddanm reasons.

YOU

Posted: July 29, 2010 in blah, love, madness, Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

My hands smell of you. Isn’t that odd?!

Thanks for yesterday by the way, I really needed the madness. It was fun. Like it’s always been.

I miss the dog! Such big brown eyes! Aww…such a darling. I cant wait for the day I pet a dog or a cat. But you already knew that.

🙂

I am still in awe. Your words still ring on my ears…
“Isn’t it awesome that we have been together one and a half-year and still we have SOO much fun all the time?!”

I love you!